Cuckoo Orlando News Stories

I hope to one day look back on this post as a time capsule that captures the wackiness of Orlando news happenings.

First of all, the two non-felonious members of the infamous astronaut love triangle announced today that they plan to marry next year. Following a nationwide car trip (and who knows how many adult incontinence products), a creepy encounter between Lisa Nowak and the bride-to-be, Colleen Shipman, took place here in Orlando at the international airport. We don't know for sure what Nowak would've done with the rubber hoses, mallet, BB gun, and garbage bags she packed in her trunk, but we can guess.

Also, soon after the announcement that the H1N1 vaccine will be ready in a few months, a headline popped up on my home page that gave me another reminder that the danger of swine flu hasn't faded away--a busload of tourists checked into Celebration Health today complaining of flu-like symptoms. Yes, that is the hospital where I work, and yes, I did walk by every one of them on their way to the main lobby, and yes, every one of them had a surgical mask on. Did I figure out what was going on?! No, not even after the newspiece yesterday about the vaccine! It was a bunch of kids with chaperones, so I thought they were on some junior surgeon field trip or something. Good thing I wash my hands one time per baby per day, which today was five times in three hours. I hope I got all the flu germs off.

*sanitizes keyboard*