Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I Love My Country

This year, no one but I will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of the release of Trapper County War, an alleged action-adventure film that features two songs--and a cameo appearance--by my dad, Terry Pinder. These tunes include "Certified Fool" and "I Love My Country," which I think is great title (the song features a clever double meaning).

In honor of this milestone, here's a collection of some interesting country song titles. Some of these may be inaccurate, but they're still worth reading if you're bored.


  • All My Exes Live In Texas
  • Bubba Shot The Jukebox
  • Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life) -- one of Dad's favorites
  • Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer)
  • Get Your Biscuits In The Oven and Your Buns In The Bed
  • Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
  • How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
  • How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
  • I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me
  • I Can't Pass the Bar, and There's One on my Way Home
  • I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
  • I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
  • I Gave Her My Heart and A Diamond and She Clubbed Me With A Spade
  • I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger
  • I Got In at 2 With A 10 and Woke Up At 10 With a 2
  • I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming
  • I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
  • I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me)
  • I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
  • I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
  • If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It
  • If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
  • If I'd Killed You When I Wanted To, I'd be Out of Jail By Now
  • If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I'd Blow It All On You
  • If The Jukebox Took Teardrops, I'd Cry All Night Long
  • If Today Was A Fish, I'd Throw It Back In
  • If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?
  • I'll Tennessee You In My Dreams
  • I'm Drinkin' Christmas Dinner (All Alone This Year)
  • I'm In Love With a Capital U
  • I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
  • Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
  • Legendary Chicken Fairy
  • Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
  • Phantom Of The Opry
  • Please Bypass This Heart
  • She Got The Gold Mine and I Got The Shaft
  • She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
  • Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You
  • Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone
  • The Pint Of No Return
  • Timber... I'm Fallin' In Love
  • We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It's All Over Now
  • Welcome to Dumpsville, Population Me
  • When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
  • You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too
  • You Changed Your Name From Brown to Jones, and Mine From Brown to Blue
  • You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

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